Usually divorce clients are seeking advice regarding what they should do in a divorce. But there are ten things you should NOT do.

1. Do not sign anything just because your spouse says you should. Always have any documents reviewed by your legal counsel.

2. Prior to the divorce, do not panic, do not make any major decisions or take any actions (such as leaving the marital home) without first consulting legal counsel.

3. Do not discuss the divorce with the children; however, you shouldn’t hide the divorce from your children, either. They will be sensitive to the situation, and honesty is the best policy with them. Let them know that the divorce is not their fault in any way, and that you and your spouse have your own issues to cope with.

4. Likewise, do not use your kids as “go-betweens” or in any way put them in the middle of the conflict. Do not bad mouth your spouse to your kids.

5. Although you may feel deeply violated and wronged in the marriage, do not threaten your spouse with vindictive claims like “You’ll never see our kids again!” or “I’ll take you for everything you’re worth!” Instead, take the high road and let your attorney and the court work to resolve all issues.

6. Do not agree to capitulate and surrender everything just because you want to get out of the marriage as quickly as possible, or because you still love your spouse and you think that by giving in, he or she will not go through with the divorce.

7. No matter how well-intended or similar to your situation a friend’s experience may be, do not take your friend’s advice as legal counsel. Only a qualified attorney is in a position and has the wide experience needed to give the best legal advice.

8. Do not procrastinate: the temptation to remain in the situation you know, however unpleasant, can keep you from getting out from under a dysfunctional marriage. Remember that staying put is much easier than making a major life change, but that that change may be what is best for you in the long haul.]

9. Do not overlook the small things, however insignificant they may seem, may be important later: make duplicates of the family album, videos of the kids playing, or other small, personal items, so that neither of you feels cheated. Buy duplicate CDs or other items that are deeply sentimental for both of you.

10. Do not complain to your family and friends about your insufferable marriage or how horrid your spouse is.

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The information contained in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. The use of this Blog does not create an attorney/client relationship between you and the Law Offices of Barry R. Lewis. If you are considering divorce or if you are involved in any legal matter, you should hire an attorney.

Massachusetts Divorce and Family Law
Attorney Barry R. Lewis — Divorce Law Specialist
Locations Throughout Eastern & Central Massachusetts :: 508-879-3262