Divorce Law Blog

It happens over and over again. The subject of divorce comes up, or a divorce case is filed. Emotions run high and, before you know it, the other spouse runs out and convinces a judge that they are in fear of “imminent physical harm” and gets an ex parte (without notice) restraining order. Unfortunately, there are too many instances of serious domestic violence in our society.

In many instances the only real threat involved is the fear of bad publicity to the Judge. From the standpoint of the Judge – if he has 1000 people asking for a restraining order and he turns them down and only 1 party goes “postal” the Judge’s picture will be on the front page of the papers and all over social media. There are many Judges who rarely turn down any request for a restraining order no matter how flimsy the basis!

The mere presence of a restraining order can prevent a person from working in certain fields (notably education and health care) and make visiting with your children much more difficult. And a vindictive spouse (or ex-spouse) can even use alleged violations to have you incarcerated.

There are a number of ways to prevent a restraining order from happening:

• Avoid being alone with your spouse! If you must engage your spouse in conversations, do so in a public place and try to keep them calm. If your spouse shows signs of losing it, leave! When the police are called it is usually the man who is taken away.
• If you can’t remain calm – don’t contact your spouse. If you with your spouse and you find yourself losing it – leave!
• Never threaten your spouse or assault your spouse physically in any manner – this includes breaking things and throwing things.
• Lastly, if your spouse does obtain a restraining order – strongly consider fighting the restraining order. An experienced attorney can review the facts of the situation and give you an opinion as to whether you have a chance of convincing the Court to drop the restraining order.

Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!