Posts Tagged ‘Divorce Attorney Massachusetts’

Cumulative Share of US Marriages Ending in Divorce - Click for Larger Image The NY Times, along with several other news sources, recently published an article examining, once again, the “50% Myth” of divorce rates in the USA. I commented on this back in June of 2014 (see US Divorce Rate: The 50% Myth). This is of course a very complex issue with multiple levels of interpretation and analysis from an array of viewpoints both statistical and sociological. However, three main trends are evident:

1) Divorce rates surged in the 1970s and 1980s, but since have dropped significantly, first in the 1990s and even more so in the 2000s.

2) Couples are marrying later in life: The median age for marriage in 1890 was 26 for men and 22 for women. By the 1950s, it had dropped to 23 for men and 20 for women. In 2004, it climbed to 27 for men and 26 for women.

3) Fewer couples are getting married per capita: many younger couples are living together prior to or instead of marrying, which reduces the divorce rate for couples in their early twenties.

Of course, this is also a simplified view. Much statistical analysis can be applied to these data. For example, one recurring source of the 50% “rule” is that approximately 2.4 million couples marry in a given year, and 1.2 million divorce. 50%, right? But these divorces are not drawn from the same set as the marriages, or, put another way, half of those married in any given year do not divorce in that same year. More significantly, the number of divorces and marriages are taken as totals from the general population, and not from more definitive samples: the percentage of divorces among second (60-67%) and third (70-73%) marriages is much higher than among marriages that don’t end in divorce, skewing the numbers.

A more accurate approach would be to calculate how many people who ever married subsequently divorced. Calculated in this manner, the US divorce rate has never exceeded 41 percent, and in fact is currently dropping. According to the 2001 survey of the Fertility and Family Branch of the Census Bureau, the rate of divorce for men between 50 and 59 was 41% and for women between 50 and 59 was 39%.

In any case, divorce is a real consideration in marriage, ultimately affecting close to 4 in 10 couples. If you find yourself in the 40 percentile, consider consulting a qualified divorce attorney to examine your situation and the best way forward.

Q/AQ: What is the most common mistake that is made in family law cases? 

A: Parties become so emotionally involved that they fail to act calmly and rationally.  These cases, by their very nature, are stressful. If a party can’t handle that stress, they are at a disadvantage and  will frequently sabotage their own case!  In practice, there are many different ways that this will manifest itself.

Some of the the most common instances of this include:

1) An overwhelming need for a “quick” resolution – even if it doesn’t make sense for the party or the family;

2) An unwillingness to comply with orders of  the Court – which almost always creates greater difficulties for the party;

3) The hiring-firing of multiple lawyers and/or the unwillingness to really listen to and implement the advice of counsel;

4) Acting rashly and impulsively and taking major actions without consulting with counsel.

An experienced family law attorney will understand that these are stressful times for his/her client and will try to keep clients calm or recommend therapeutic help when appropriate. Parties who find themselves overwhelmed by the process may need to seek professional counseling.

There is an old saying in the family law profession: “In criminal cases you have bad people on their best behavior and in divorce cases you have good people on their worst behavior.” 

Parties need to understand that emotional behavior is not the  path to the successful resolution of a family law matter.

toughtfulwriterOf course there are any number of things to consider prior to filing for divorce. Here are a few key items to reflect upon.

1) The great majority–perhaps as high as 95%–of all divorce cases are settled before going to trial. Many cases are resolved through mediation or a joint petition for divorce in which both parties agree to all terms.

2) What are your most important long-term goals in the divorce? Before filing, create and understand your goals. This will help you to make better decisions and get where you want to go in the end.

3) Focus on what will be important in five years, not what seems hugely important now but may fade in a few years. Don’t get bogged down in details, money which won’t matter in a few years, or items like the stereo, computer or flatscreen TV.

4) Do you really want to represent yourself? You might think you’ll save big on attorney fees, but you’ll need to get all the relevant information and legal forms, and you may well miss important issues an experienced attorney will be quick to point out. At least consider hiring an attorney on an hourly basis to consult with on special issues.

5) Be Organized! Get your papers in order. Write down questions for your lawyer. Perhaps ask a trusted friend, relative, or your accountant to help you organize.

6) Look (and ask) before you leap: don’t jump to conclusions or rush to a decision. It takes time to build a reasonable, fair and equitable settlement. Because you will live with the results of your divorce for the rest of your life, take your time, talk to your support network, consult with your attorney, and do not rush into things.

The oft-cited statistic has it that 50% of US marriages end in divorce, rather than the death of a spouse (though the actual figure is between 40% and 50% depending upon statistical methodology applied). Does this make divorce a cause to celebrate, to rejoice in finally being free from the constraints of a failed marriage? Or rather a cause to lament, to decry the sorry state of our society? Of course, the truth is neither and both, with a wide range of grey inbetween.

The reality is extremely subjective, varying from person to person, and all parties involved, not merely the spouses. One spouse may rejoice, the other regret. And have you ever known children of a divorce throw a party, thrilled that their parents are finally separated (absent parental abuse, anyway)? No, of course divorce is a serious matter, a venture not lightly entered into, a life-changing course rivaled by few other events in one’s life. It is sage advice to consider all options before choosing divorce as the only recourse in a failed marriage. One’s marriage may not be failed after all, simply faltering, and steps may be taken to correct the course, through counseling and mediation among other measures.

But if divorce seems your only recourse, then it is imperative that you seek the legal advice of an experienced divorce attorney who can guide you through the maze of issues that arise with divorce proceedings, many if not most of which you may well not be aware of before commencing your divorce process. Consider how much of your life, public and private, financial and material, will be analyzed and debated in a court proceeding. In fact, this is largely why 90% of all divorces are settled out of court; spouses reach agreement without courtroom drama through the aid of legal advice and mediation and so can come to terms without court proceedings.

Be prepared for your first meeting with your divorce attorney by planning ahead. A major step in this direction is to gather all of your Essential Papers in an Essential Papers File in a safe place. You will then bring this file with you to your initial meeting with your attorney, so that these items are ready for review at the start of the process.

What are Essential Papers? Documents such as copies of your tax returns for the past three years; the deed to your home and any other real estate, plus any items that may affect the cost basis of your home, including receipts for major repairs or renovations; your birth certificate; your marriage certificate; your passport; automobile title(s); insurance forms; bank account statements; outstanding debts; and stock certificates and other investment documents.

Also include a listing of names, addresses and contact info for key people or businesses such as your attorney, accountant, stockbroker, financial planner, creditors, and executor of your will and estate.

You may also want to consider recording a video of your home and its contents to document the value and appearance of the house and valuables. Keep this tape or digital recording with a list of valuables, including description, when and where acquired, original cost and current value (if a collectible), and where possible the serial number of the item (included with all electronics but not necessarily with other items), in a safe place, preferrably not in the marital home.

Armed with these items, your attorney will be better able to advise you from your very first meeting. However, if you think that divorce may be imminent, it is important that you get the advice of an experienced divorce attorney as soon as possible. Don’t delay doing this because you are gathering documents and information. Your divorce attorney will advise you on how to best proceed.

Many couples find themselves in the situation where they desire to separate but do not want to divorce due to religious objections, where a spouse suffers from a substance abuse or other serious personal problem, or a spouse wants to preserve inheritance rights. Many think of legal separation as an alternative. The concept of legal separation is to establish a trial period during which spouses live apart in accord with rights established by the court to while deciding about reconciliation or divorce. However, in Massachusetts, there is no statute providing couples with this option of legal separation as such. Instead, if you wish to separate and have protections under the law, you will need to file for divorce or separate support with the court and live separately based upon the provisions listed in the court’s temporary order. An agreement for a trial separation without filing for divorce must be made outside of court.

In Massachusetts, separate support allows a form of legal separation, most often used by people with a deep religious objection to divorce who feel they can no longer live with their spouse. There are other common situations where separate support may be appropriate when a spouse does not wish to divorce:

When a spouse requires a support mechanism for themselves and/or their children, particularly where one spouse’s income is significantly higher than the others;

When a spouse wants to preserve inheritance rights (particularly older people who will not remarry);

When a spouse hopes to reconcile with a spouse who is undergoing personal difficulties (such as a substance abuse problem); and

When a spouse does not want to divide property for various reasons (such as maintaining an intact business interest).

The principal purpose of an action for separate support is to compel a spouse to furnish support for his or her abandoned spouse and minor children during the term of the marriage and the time that the cause for separation exists. The court that adjudicates an action for separate support cannot dissolve the marriage nor provide for a division of properties. Although the process in many ways looks like a divorce and incurs the same time and expense as a divorce, in the end the spouses remain married. If the decision is then reached to divorce, then you start the process again by filing a new action for divorce.

However, by providing a method for a spouse to obtain a judgment determining his or her status as an abandoned husband or wife, separate support can secure that spouse freedom from interference with his or her personal liberty by the other spouse. It also provides a method to determine who is granted custody of the children.

Many people believe that it is necessary to file an action for separate support prior to filing for divorce. This is incorrect. The courts liberally apply the term “living separate and apart.” Therefore, it is possible to pursue this action in cases of nonsupport while the parties still reside under the same roof.

Lastly, it should be noted that even though a plaintiff files an action for separate support, the defendant may counterclaim for divorce. Under these circumstances, it is extremely likely that a divorce will be granted (particularly if the counterclaim asserts the grounds of irretrievable breakdown) when the case is finally adjudicated. Thus, the separate support action would become moot.

DISCLAIMER
The information contained in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not legal advice. The use of this Blog does not create an attorney/client relationship between you and the Law Offices of Barry R. Lewis. If you are considering divorce or if you are involved in any legal matter, you should hire an attorney.

Massachusetts Divorce and Family Law
Attorney Barry R. Lewis — Divorce Law Specialist
Locations Throughout Eastern & Central Massachusetts :: 508-879-3262