Divorce Law Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Children’

Consider some stress reducing guidelines, especially when children are involved:

• Help your kids manage their feelings: Encourage them to openly discuss their feelings — positive or negative — about what’s happening. Talk to your children, let them know that they are not responsible for the divorce. How much detail you go into depends in part on how old and how mature the children are, but regardless of age, they need to know that the divorce is not their fault, and that they will not be losing either parent. Discuss the ways in which custody and visitation will work.
• Keep conflict and argument aways from the kids; disrupt their lives as little as possible. Maintain a calm attitude and avoid conflict, as parental fighting is very stressful for children. Take divorce conversations outside the home or discuss these matters only when the children are not home.
• Don’t use your kids as go-betweens. They should not feel like pawns nor be manipulated by either parent. Do not use children to send messages to your spouse.
• Seek support from friends, church, or organizations like Parents Without Partners, or a therapist with experience with children of divorce, someone that the children can talk to and who can help them address any guilt they feel, however unfounded, about the divorce.